Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Randomize
