My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
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