Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
True college students do jello shots in the library
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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