Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
