so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
