It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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