i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
