I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
