He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
