it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
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