who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
God I need to hump something, right now.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
