Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I seem to have left my pride at pride
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Randomize
