My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
