I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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