Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
