lets start a swedish sibling band together
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
