Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
