Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Randomize
