i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
