Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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