no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
