thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
