thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Randomize
