somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
