Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
