on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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