YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Randomize
