sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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