It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Randomize
