Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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