I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
