I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
