i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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