"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
you win again, gameday.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
