You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Say something about gay babies.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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