OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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