why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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