i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
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