he wants to bone in the snuggie
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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