Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Randomize
