When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
