I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
