tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
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