so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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