I love having hate sex.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
