Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
