Need sex. Gaining weight.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Randomize
