Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
You've changed since you got that strap on
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Randomize
