whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
