do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Randomize
