How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Randomize
